What A Way To Go (100 Ways To Kill A Doctor Challenge)
by Prospero Hibiki
Summary: They've got to go. I know it. You know it. But how? It was nice knowing you Dr. Hofstadter and Dr Fowler. You will be missed. Well...not really. This one is dark. Really. Not kidding this time. Don't say I didn't warn you. (Dsnynutz challenged me AND told me that Risknight was going to do it too...I mean what can you say to that!)


What A Way To Go

Author: Prospero Hibiki

Disclaimer: The Big Bang Theory characters are the property of Chuck Lorre, Bill Prady, the CBS Network, and the actors who portray them. In no way are these aforementioned characters being used for my own personal profit, and this is not meant as an infringement of the copyright owned by any of the above entities.

Timeline: Sometime before Priya arrives in season 4 but after Amy's introduction.

Spoilers: Probably

Classification: ...yeah...

Rating: M...yeah...I'm _really_ not kidding this time folks.

Summary: They've got to go. I know it. You know it. But how? It was nice knowing you Dr. Hofstadter and Dr Fowler. You will be missed. Well...not really. This one is dark. Really. Not kidding this time. Don't say I didn't warn you. (Dsnynutz challenged me _AND_ told me that Risknight was going to do it too...I mean what can you say to that?!)

Author's Comments: I think I pretty much summed up in the summary, but here goes anyway. So I was sitting down at my computer trying to figure out where to take my ITLAPD story for Risknight when I get a PM from Dsnynutz telling me that I have to kill the monkey lady and/or the homunculus. Well, being who I am, I bravely held out to peer pressure for the _whole_ thirty seconds it took me to read the message before I totally caved. Peer pressure is lethal!

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"The Circle"

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*Knock knock knock* "Penny."

*Knock knock knock* "Penny."

*Knock knock knock* "Penny."

Sheldon was surprised when the door to apartment 4B swung open having obviously, to him anyway and to be fair who else _really_ mattered, been only barely been shut. He really would have to talk to Penny about her carelessness in regards to home safety. There was a spare key to his apartment in her home and if someone could just waltz in willy nilly, why they could steal some of his mint condition never been opened collectables!

What he saw inside her apartment however both shocked him and left him completely appalled. All of the furniture in her living room area had been pushed to the edges of the room and the beige floor rug was rolled up and in the corner. In and of itself this was not a bad thing as he had long thought she needed to reduce the clutter in the room so that she could better clean the space.

Penny's complete nakedness also wasn't too terribly shocking because he had already seen her in such a state once before and he had to admit, if only to himself and his personal interaction journal, that he had found the sight of her in such a state both stimulating and arousing.

He could have done without Leonard's nakedness, but he had long understood that the little homunculus would give anything to get back together with Penny. Finding him tied spread eagled to the floor and gagged really wasn't that much of a stretch.

No, the truly shocking item in the room had only a tangential relationship with those things.

"Penelope Anne Queen! Just what do you think you are doing?!" He stalked over to where she was sitting astride Leonard, picked her up by her armpits, and pulled her over to the kitchen island.

"Sheldon!" Her face had gone white, as well it should in such an instance, he thought. "It's not what it looks like, honest!"

"I would hope not, however, I find it very hard to believe considering that you are painted head to toe with arcane symbols drawn in blood and I walked in on you about to copulate with Leonard while about to thrust an dagger into his heart!" He snorted derisively when Penny tried to hide said dagger behind her back and tried to not become distracted by what that motion did to her chest. "You should be ashamed of yourself attempting to sacrifice Leonard in such a manner." He heard a muffled agreement coming from behind him.

Penny looked down towards the floor and Sheldon cursed his weakness. She just looked so lost at that moment that he couldn't help but do his best to correct her mistakes. He patted her hair not wanting to get the blood on his clothes. "There there, Sheldon's here. I will help you fix this mess."

"First things first I suppose. You need to go to your bathroom and shower all that blood off of you." He paused so that Penny could agree with him as she was supposed to and was surprised when she did not.

"I can't. I drained Amy's body into the tub so that I could have the blood I needed for the ritual." Penny sniffled a few times.

Sheldon sighed. "Good grief woman!" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Fine. I suppose you can shower in my apartment. First however I'm going to need you to help me with Leonard. I can hardly have him there while I clean your hardwood floor of that horrible disgrace of a pentagram. Drawn in human blood no less!"

Penny nodded and when Sheldon walked to Leonard's feet she went to his hands and started to untie them. Leonard was making relieved noises through his gag.

"Stop!" Her hands shot away from what she'd been doing and she gave him a puzzled look. "Don't untie him. He'd be practically impossible to tie up once more for when we actually need to sacrifice him. Just untie one of his hands and then tie that one to the one that's still attached to the floor. Then you can untie that one."

Leonard's struggles, which had dropped off once Sheldon had arrived picked up again with a vengeance.

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Sheldon viewed the preparations with the air of a master craftsman. The pentagram made from Amy Farrah Fowler's blood was mathematically perfect and neatly drawn on a ten by ten sheet of plastic. Also the symbols had been redrawn on Penny's body with his own hand so that he knew they were perfect. Frowning slightly he stepped forward and stopped Leonard from swinging and wondered yet again if he should perhaps knock the man unconscious. _No_ , he decided, _the severing of his spine so that he couldn't move would be enough_.

To think that Penny could find so many ways to botch what was truly a simple ritual. Honestly, trying to combine the sexual aspect of the ritual with the sacrificial aspect. He shook his head once more. She really should have come to him much sooner with her plans. Still, he did have to give her proper credit. He'd simply viewed Amy Farrah Fowler as an intellectual companion. Never had he considered using her as a virgin blood sacrifice.

He stripped off the light silk robe he had donned after painting they symbols on his own body. Being very careful not to disturb the symbols on the ground he assumed his position inside the pentagram. Penny joined him after doffing her own robe and he stared up at her. Their joining was more pleasurable than he expected and he had to concentrate much harder to maintain control of himself. He could feel a small grin cross his face when he saw that Penny was similarly affected. Penny screamed in ecstasy and before her orgasm finished she slit Leonard's jugular so that his blood poured down over them. Sheldon joined her falling over his own precipice completing the ritual. Light flared throughout the apartment and power rushed into the joined couple.

Sheldon's last thoughts before the darkness took him were of can openers and whimsical rubber ducks.

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End "The Circle"

Chapter Notes: Wow, okay. I just kind of wrote this in one sitting and didn't really know where it was going to go. I think this kind of got away from me. The challenge was of course the "100 Ways to Kill a Doctor Halloween Challenge" which I'll post below. I might come back and post another chapter with ANOTHER murder or two in it but not connected to this one.

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100 Way to Kill a Doctor Halloween Challenge

Risknight has accepted, will you?

Halloween Challenge where writers are encouraged to create a story outlining the death of Doctor Leonard Hofstadter and/or Doctor Amy Farrah Fowler, thus stopping the deterioration of Sheldon and Penny forevermore.

RULES:

1\. Sheldon/Penny - They can be platonic, romantic, smutty, Super Heroes/Villains, etc.

2\. Leonard/Amy's death MAY occur anytime from the Pilot thru Season 9.

3\. The death must be completed in a single chapter, although you are welcome to contribute as many different forms of death as you like as long as they are a chapter each.

4\. The story must be no more than 1,500 words long.

5\. Deadline is October 31, 2015.

Have fun (Mwah ha ha)


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